Equilibrium and Muscle Strength Are Better
8/15/2025
I’m better this morning in terms of my equilibrium and muscle strength. I’m walking more independently, but my muscles weaken if I try to walk too long around the house.
Yesterday I had the MRI on the sacral/coccyx area. For me, it was 25 minutes of total relaxation and spiritual connection. I closed my eyes and just breathed following the Buddhist vipassana teaching: one breath to let go, one breath to be here, one breath to ask now what? Then I asked “What do you want me to do? And How do I need to change in order to do that? And just listened. This comes from the book The Seven Whispers, A Spiritual Practice for Times Like These, by Christina Baldwin.
The message I keep getting is to write. I need to share what is happening with me, how my body seems to be the main method for spirit to get my attention. I’m so busy doing my life that I rarely take time to just be. I’ve also been reluctant to share what’s been happening with me for fear of showing up as “disabled” or “less than”. I don’t like drawing attention to myself and have a hard time accepting concern for my wellbeing or accepting praise, flattery, and love. My husband is the only person I’ve ever shared my truest self with. He is my best friend and partner and I trust him with my deepest insecurities. The world, including my family, know me as someone who is always giving, listening, and supporting others, not the recipient of those actions. Although my sister would probably add that I’m judgmental of her choices in life.
Dependency on others is a challenge
This learning to be dependent on others rather than to be strong and self-reliant is a hard lesson for me to be learning at 73.
I don’t know where this will lead, to what end. I’m just following the guidance of Spirit and doing my best to listen. Re-reading the book is helping me to get back in touch with my inner self and with Spirit. I’m in Chapter 2 now, Move at the Pace of Guidance. This is all about slowing down, taking time in each day, whether it’s 15 minutes or 30, to stop doing and just breathe and listen.
The MRI forced me to do that yesterday for 25 minutes. I don’t mind being cocooned in the small tube and hearing the tones. I just imagined the tones were calls to spiritual guides to help me heal, restore my equilibrium, and give me back the strength in my legs. If this morning is any example, it helped.